If you need your Big Brother fix, may I recommend Steph's site inthediaryroom for its cutting edge analysis (or maybe just cutting. Nobody hand her a knife if Michelle is nearby).
Big Brother as we all know is a play on Orwell's book and the idea of 24 hour surveillance and someone always watching you.
There's another aspect of the book that I think has greater link with the reality show. Being a media savvy demographic, the housemates are fully aware that they are on camera and as such tailor their speech according.
It's not newspeak but housespeak. Here are my favourite phrases and their true meanings.
Big personality - Ear piercing loudmouth.
My journey - From the house to a Zoo magazine spread. Classy!
This is how I am- I hate you.
I'm not a bitch but ... - I hate you.
I'm honest - I hate you.
I like you - I hate you.
Bummo, Nomoes and any slang word ending with an "O" - Miscellaneous gibberish similar to the sound a monkey makes when it's picking it's arse.
You are just playing the game! - ....better than me.
I can't get a word in - I have nothing interesting to say.
You act like a sheep - Why don't you follow ME around?
I couldn't give a fuck - My ass is getting voted out.
I'm a nice guy - I didn't turkey slap a girl like they did last season so.... do you want to fuck me now?
Embrace the magic! - I didn't make the cut for Australian Idol.
We all know not to run with a glass in your hand.
We all know to check a sliding glass door is open before proceeding through the doorway.
At least I know these things.
Now.
Lump on my forehead, slashed finger, nicked artery, trip to the emergency room and another scar to add to my collection.
You can stop laughing.
I've just watched the season finale of Heroes (I heart broadband) and I've got to get some stuff off my chest.
Engaging secret text.
(highlight with your mouse and scroll down to read but it will contain spoilers for Australians)
Did you find the season finale disappointing?
The setup was there. All the elements were in place. They had an awesome idea with the Brothers Petrelli going boom in the sky but....
It was missing something.
Despite the concept of stopping a nuclear explosion in down town New York the tension and stakes didn't seem high enough, even if you forget the giant plot holes.
Using only information already alluded to in previous episodes, this is how I would of finished the season.
The Heroes run to Kirby Plaza.
Matt hears Sylar's voice just before he's shot.
Pete and Sylar square off and have a start a multi power fight. Peter starts to lose until Hiro pops up and engages Sylar.
All is going well until the Haitian appears (remember him?) and negates all the Hero powers except for the radioactivity. He wants the bomb to go off.
Sylar lights up red.
HRG tells Pete to absorb the red energy with his blue energy. They go at it all swirly coloured.
Nikki beats the crap out of the Haitian and all other powers are restored.
Sylar goes invisible.
Pete and Hiro get bashed around. Hiro is on the ground.
Matt hears Sylar say "Even if you could see me, my powers are faster". He links the thought into Molly the Locater, who points to vacant spot and says "He's there"
Hiro busts a samurai move and has his sword out and through Sylar's chest in a blink of an eye. Slowly he pulls back and then whips the sword around and cuts off the top of Sylar's head and kills him in a nice synchronicity with how Sylar killed the other Heroes previously.
But Pete has absorbed too much red power!
He can't control it. Hiro tries to phase the both of them away but the radiation deforms Hiro's power and poof, Hiro disappears..
Nathan swoops down but can't get close. His flesh is burning.
Clare sandwiches herself between Peter and Nathan, protecting him from the radiation.
They have a nice family moment. Something about the future not being set and family standing together.
And Nathan flies the three of them up into the atmosphere and.....
BOOM. PRETTY NUCLEAR FIREWORKS.
Music swells.
Camera cranes up to see the relived but shell shocked remaining Heroes.
HRG cries in despair!
Sylar's blood drips ominously into the sewer.
Black screen.
Hiro wakes up in 16th Century Japan.
Now somebody give me $5 million and I'll make that episode.
I'm not an overly sensitive person.
I don't like spiders but they don't creep me out either. Poo and vomit behold no terror for me - two much younger siblings and work in a country pub will fix that. Public speaking is no drama and I don't fear flying.
I can even buy tampons and pads.
I never quite got the stigma of tampon purchasing but I appreciate that marketers want to make consumers comfortable with their product and concentrate on the benefits of their brand of tampon rather than the features.
Thus ads show us women frolicking at the beach in bikinis so small they would display the results of your last Brazilian wax.
One advertisement has taken the women power motif to new realms and apparently using their brand will enable you to cartwheel off a 5 story balcony onto a bendy tree before dropping into the backseat of a convertible to head off for gal pal lunch, Sex in the City style. Hola!
However a new ad has crop up and this one does concern me. It's a standard 'girls talking about freedom and fun and girl power and laughing and have a total ball being girls together' ad but with a curious logo.
I couldn't find the ad on youtube or the internets so I had to pull a screen shot off the marketing company's site to show you.
What is wrong with that picture?
I always thought advertising was meant to conjure up mental images of the consumer receiving benefits from using a product and not images from a horror movie.
I'm not even talking about the pig's blood prom night massacre but the first major scene which takes place in the girls locker room.
INT. BATES HIGH SCHOOL LOCKER AND SHOWER ROOM
Girls are hollering and cavorting around the locker room, some completely dressed, some partially dressed, and some completely naked. There is only one girl left in the shower, and that is Carrie. She takes the soap and gently rubs it against her face, her breasts, and her stomach. She props up her leg and washes it. She brings her hand down and brings it up. She does this again. And again. She pushes her hand down again and drops the soap. Blood begins to flow down her leg as she experiences her first menstrual period. She sees it and begins to panic. She rushes out to the girls and clutches at their clothes. The girls push her away, disgusted.
Carrie: Help me! Help me! Help me! Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!! Help me! Help me!
Chris: Have a Tampax, Carrie.
She throws a tampon at Carrie.
Carrie: Help me!
Sue Snell: Hey, Carrie! Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up!
The girls begin to take up this new idea. They continue to yell at her and throw tampons and sanitary napkins. SUE SNELL, another young girl, takes the cover off the sanitary napkin dispenser and throws them at her.
The girls begin chanting as they throw.
Girls: Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up!
Maybe there is a reverse psychology post modernism marketing ploy here that I'm not hip to.
